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Archive for 2016|Yearly archive page

Beyonce farts, world applauds

In Satire on February 8, 2016 at 5:31 PM

A fart from Beyonce has been widely praised as a pivotal moment in the history of feminism and civil rights.

The popstar farted soon after her spectacular appearance in Coldplay’s Superbowl Half-Time Show, which displayed support for the Black Panthers and Black Lives Matter – and critics rushed to praise her anal emission

Suzanne Moore wrote in The Guardian: “The fart represents a historic and empowering expression of black culture, feminism and the intersection between them.

“Being the ultra-powerful woman that she is, Beyonce has, with this fart, crafted her own her safe space, into which the outrageous slings and arrows thrown at her by bitter, emasculated white men cannot enter.”

And Anna Leszkiewicz wrote in the New Statesman: “I think this powerful act will give racist police pause for thought before shooting more innocent black people.”

Tom Haines, a security worker for Beyonce, was party to fart and witnessed its power first hand (or first nose, if you will).

He said: “I get that Beyonce is an independent woman showing people we don’t have to conform to the rigid, stifling patriarchy which society imposes on us all, and I’m totally for her on that.

“But to be fair it did kind of stink. Am I allowed to say that?”

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